I hope you've all been good, all of you wonderful people who have [for some reason] decided to watch me! You know, in a non-stalkerish way, of course [unless you're or , in which case it could be totally stalkerish and I couldn't care less XD]. I hope life has been okay to you, and that you are still able to go insane [in a good way] for enough time every day!
I have been going insane, but probably not in the good way. There's a bunch of crazy stuff that I need to do and sort out - my school schedule needs changes, there's a problem with my HS transcript [my Spanish 4 class was listed as a Fine Arts credit instead of a World Language credit], I need to make my Grandma's birthday present, I need to finish my piece for 's Contest of Death, my group for the school solstice celebration [which includes the awesome Inky!] needs to get going because we have less than a month until the performance, I have to help a friend of mine level up all of the D&D characters in a group I work with to level five [they're level one now, and there's like 12-14 of them including my own], I still have marimba two wednesdays from now [on my birthday, no less!], and I'm helping with visitors day - ALSO on my birthday!
I feel like I'm just running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
Not to mention I'm still confused-as-fuck about my sexuality and/or gender identity, because I honestly don't have a fucking clue about it anymore. At the moment, as far as I can tell, I am physically female but gender-identify as a feminine boy? I don't even fucking know. . .
I have a cold that has lasted for about a month or two now. I even made up a song about it, to the tune of 'The Song That Never Ends'.
"This is the cold that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends!
One day I - started snifflin', not knowin' what it was,
And now my nose keeps runnin',
just keeps runnin', just because. . ."
And repeating forever.
Other than that, though, I've been alright. Today, Clocks drew my Pathfinder character for the campaign that Inky and I are in [s/he's an androgynous half-elf Psion who will eventually multi class as a ninja and who has occasional pyromaniac psychopathic tendencies, but is usually your average antisocial, misanthropic compulsive liar]. It made me so happy! Garnet [his/her name] looks a lot more manly in her style. . . *laughs* I never draw manly characters. I just can't. *laughs* And THAT, Dad, is why all of my male characters have long hair and big eyes! And then started drawing Garnet as well. . . *sighs happily*
MY FIRST TRIMESTER OF SOPHOMORE YEAR IS OVER! I'M SO HAPPY!!!! Except I'm still busy as fuck. . . fuck.
Also, I really want to ask this but I feel like you'll all deem me really awkward for asking it. . .
Like, what would you say counts as 'love'? Because I get really confused sometimes, because I think there are people I love and like and stuff, but then I really have no fucking idea. And like, age too. I mean, people tend to make a big deal about age gaps, but how big a gap is worth making a big deal of? And basically just. . . ah, fuck. I don't even know what I'm saying now. *headdesk*
Thanks for listening to me rant! My journals just keep getting longer, don't they? *laughs*
PS - You should all listen to the song I'm listening to right now. "Abstract Nonsense" by Kagamine Rin. That. . . right there, that is my heart. Occasionally. Sometimes.